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2008, in musical chronology. [29 Dec 2008|10:11pm]
The Haunt of Roulette Dares - The Mars Volta
Shake A Fist - Hot Chip
Little Cream Soda - The White Stripes
Disconnect the Dots - Of Montreal
Top Yourself - The Raconteurs
Oboes Bleat And Triangles Tink - Say Hi
Tij - Battles
One Pure Thought - Hot Chip
Weightless - Nada Surf
Time to Pretend - MGMT
Monica - Tortoise
Travel Is Dangerous - Mogwai
Sidewalk - Built To Spill
Chrissie Kiss the Corpse - Of Montreal
Seeing Things - Zero 7
Mingusings - Of Montreal
Hit the Wall - Broken Social Scene Presents Brendan Canning
They Made Frogs Smoke 'Til They Explode - Múm
Gobbledigook - Sigur Rós
Kyokushin - Venetian Snares
Churches Under the Stairs - Broken Social Scene Presents Brendan Canning
Pull Out - Death From Above 1979
She Moves She - Four Tet
Hey! Is That a Ninja Up There? - Minus the Bear
3 | Comment

interlude [29 Sep 2008|12:06pm]
What would it be like
to find a dead person's porn
would you fap to it?
3 | Comment

[30 Jun 2008|09:34am]
i'm tired of the circles my life runs in.
the same failures repeated a month later, without even knowing what they are.
I have got to be really bad at something that someone doesn't want me to tell about.

two of the people i'm living with are moving out today. one of them just decided to tell us this yesterday. (??) alright, i guess. whatever.

such an odd and uneventful summer, i cant foresee much changing between now and august either. i guess all i can do is get more hours and make more money.
i guess i'm off to make sandwiches for a living.

"Hope Prevails?" [20 Apr 2008|03:45am]
I have not had quite a rush of adrenaline in a while.

Somehow things work out, but maybe that's scarier than anything else.
Why should I continue to get away with the stupid things
I've done
while my friends share the same mindset and don't?

-Am I invincible?
Logic tells me not.

-Was this fated?
How can I know?

-Where do I go from here?
Only time and reflection will tell.

I will become a nomad, and wander the earth.

Someone comes away from this night with a sprained ankle and a sense of luck for bypassing terribleness.

I come away with a bruised ego, a check on my reasoning, and a sense of evaded terror.

which is preferred?

false ends and new starts. [22 Mar 2008|09:21pm]
I'm working on quitting smoking.
I am slowly conforming my mind to the fact that coughing all the time isn't cool and I don't need a habit like this anyway. Reliance on a cancer-stick is not something I should choose to continue to subject myself to (with certain exceptions, of course.)an extra ten-fifteen bucks per week would be nice too, although monetary value is not my reasoning.

My dog is getting put down on monday. I don't know how to react to this. I love her and if you've met her you do too.

My plans for the future involve hermiting myself in a room for a week and writing down everything. If analyzing my entire life on paper doesn't help me figure things out in the broader sense, then I'm going to feel rather hopeless.

I am going to envelope myself in music tonight.
5 | Comment

[23 Feb 2008|05:13pm]
It seems kind of sad to me that some of the girls
who have shown the most hope for individuality and independence
decide to define their lives with mediocrity
and contain identity only when a man gives them one.

It seems hometown dreams
of lofty goals and a high society
have turned
you into a trophy
rather than human.

Good for you
I'm glad you're in love
Too bad-
I'm sad that you lost your soul.
3 | Comment

[14 Feb 2008|02:50pm]
I need some sort of sensory deprivation chamber.
I woke up this morning and I just felt that my mind was clogged, with too much information, too many things swirling around that are yet to be resolved.

I skipped my psych class because I couldn't pay attention in history at all. i didn't really want to.

Any ideas? I need centering, quickly. some method to transcend normal consciousness and bring myself back to full fruition.

Although I don't want to work tonight, maybe the driving time to think and listen to music will help me back to normalcy.

Things aren't bad, but there's too much of everything right now. Time to get over my insecurities and get my shit together to be a viable human being (although I do deem myself so, it needs some solid reinforcement).
3 | Comment

things i did recently.... things i need to do. [12 Feb 2008|01:22am]
what i did this week/weekend:
Party at avalon. no offense to them, but ours are better(bias?) one particular cute girl was present.
Painted a sweet-ass table. come see it. no really. you can't believe how much work was put into this.
Got high and ordered a sebadoh album from amazon. it better be here soon.
random pondering and philosophizing about the way things are. I heart huckabees inspired shallow philosophical thought.
Black snake moan tonight. It was better this time around. Samuel L. Jackson is supreme.
pared down my playlist to get rid of shit that has been there since middle school/early high school. good riddance.
finished apps for summer internships.

things I need to do:

order a new case fan for my computer.
Write a cover letter so i can apply to dow (ewwww)
catch up on homework
plan my weekend. what the hell should i do for my birthday? options are: stay here and party/go to midland and party;see my mom/not do anything remotely interesting. lets hope for option 1 or 2.
order a pie from bake n' cakes.
write. i'm actually inspired.
find speakers that i like for my computer.
make an appointment to get my hair cut.
new shirts.

maybe there's more.... do i care?

robot hornets and tree people. [06 Feb 2008|03:20pm]
things on my mind today:

1.Reading Cracked's list of the 5 most horrifying bugs I discovered this guy here:

the japanese giant hornet. first of all, look at the size of this cocksucker. then notice how perfectly formed his yellow armor is,and how much he looks like he wants to eat your soul. he drops acid from his huge mandibles, too? shit.

I see a voltron-type anime with these hornets instead of lions. The design is practically already there.

2. I was in Genetics class today, thinking about how mitochondrion have been shown to be inherited from other species, and weren't actually an original human organelle. so, how did we create energy without these power plants in all our cells?

Chlorophyll people. Same processes as a plant, but with consciousness and mammal ability. Green skin, leaves as hair, etc. now, I'm not sure photosynthesis alone would create enough energy for a chlorophyll person to go about their daily activities. so, they eat a lot of simple sugars too.
Weird? yes.
Awesome? very.

The original tree people.

and all your thoughts, yeah, they rot.
2 | Comment

Ah, the joys of smoking. [28 Dec 2007|08:45pm]
Why do we smoke?

I know that I identified with about everything in this article, even though i may not have thought about it.

It's very true how a brand of cigarettes and how someone smokes is a unique identifier of a personality and mood. You get curious when someone switches off their known brand in favor of something someone else smokes.

I didn't fully agree with the author's statement that different brands just need getting used to.
In reality, cigarettes taste different. You can get used to terrible cigarettes, but one with a better taste will be something you strive for.

There's quite a lot to be said for oral fixations as part of smoking as well. It would be interesting to see how many people who Freud would consider to have an oral fixation smoked/found deep relaxation of it.

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