Coke-Riot

2008, in musical chronology.

2008-12-30T03:23:53Z

The Haunt of Roulette Dares - The Mars Volta
Shake A Fist - Hot Chip
Little Cream Soda - The White Stripes
Disconnect the Dots - Of Montreal
Top Yourself - The Raconteurs
Oboes Bleat And Triangles Tink - Say Hi
Tij - Battles
One Pure Thought - Hot Chip
Weightless - Nada Surf
Time to Pretend - MGMT
Monica - Tortoise
Travel Is Dangerous - Mogwai
Sidewalk - Built To Spill
Chrissie Kiss the Corpse - Of Montreal
Seeing Things - Zero 7
Mingusings - Of Montreal
Hit the Wall - Broken Social Scene Presents Brendan Canning
They Made Frogs Smoke 'Til They Explode - Múm
Gobbledigook - Sigur Rós
Kyokushin - Venetian Snares
Churches Under the Stairs - Broken Social Scene Presents Brendan Canning
Pull Out - Death From Above 1979
She Moves She - Four Tet
Hey! Is That a Ninja Up There? - Minus the Bear

interlude

2008-09-29T16:03:51Z

What would it be like
to find a dead person's porn
would you fap to it?

brainsnap @ 2008-06-30T09:34:00

2008-06-30T13:38:18Z

i'm tired of the circles my life runs in.
the same failures repeated a month later, without even knowing what they are.
I have got to be really bad at something that someone doesn't want me to tell about.

two of the people i'm living with are moving out today. one of them just decided to tell us this yesterday. (??) alright, i guess. whatever.

such an odd and uneventful summer, i cant foresee much changing between now and august either. i guess all i can do is get more hours and make more money.
i guess i'm off to make sandwiches for a living.

"Hope Prevails?"

2008-04-20T07:47:59Z

I have not had quite a rush of adrenaline in a while.

Somehow things work out, but maybe that's scarier than anything else.
Why should I continue to get away with the stupid things
I've done
while my friends share the same mindset and don't?

-Am I invincible?
Logic tells me not.

-Was this fated?
How can I know?

-Where do I go from here?
Only time and reflection will tell.

I will become a nomad, and wander the earth.

Someone comes away from this night with a sprained ankle and a sense of luck for bypassing terribleness.

I come away with a bruised ego, a check on my reasoning, and a sense of evaded terror.

which is preferred?

false ends and new starts.

2008-03-23T01:23:18Z

I'm working on quitting smoking.
I am slowly conforming my mind to the fact that coughing all the time isn't cool and I don't need a habit like this anyway. Reliance on a cancer-stick is not something I should choose to continue to subject myself to (with certain exceptions, of course.)an extra ten-fifteen bucks per week would be nice too, although monetary value is not my reasoning.

My dog is getting put down on monday. I don't know how to react to this. I love her and if you've met her you do too.

My plans for the future involve hermiting myself in a room for a week and writing down everything. If analyzing my entire life on paper doesn't help me figure things out in the broader sense, then I'm going to feel rather hopeless.

I am going to envelope myself in music tonight.

brainsnap @ 2008-02-23T17:13:00

2008-02-23T22:18:06Z

It seems kind of sad to me that some of the girls
who have shown the most hope for individuality and independence
decide to define their lives with mediocrity
and contain identity only when a man gives them one.

It seems hometown dreams
of lofty goals and a high society
have turned
you into a trophy
rather than human.

Good for you
I'm glad you're in love
Too bad-
I'm sad that you lost your soul.

brainsnap @ 2008-02-14T14:50:00

2008-02-14T19:57:05Z

I need some sort of sensory deprivation chamber.
I woke up this morning and I just felt that my mind was clogged, with too much information, too many things swirling around that are yet to be resolved.

I skipped my psych class because I couldn't pay attention in history at all. i didn't really want to.

Any ideas? I need centering, quickly. some method to transcend normal consciousness and bring myself back to full fruition.

Although I don't want to work tonight, maybe the driving time to think and listen to music will help me back to normalcy.

Things aren't bad, but there's too much of everything right now. Time to get over my insecurities and get my shit together to be a viable human being (although I do deem myself so, it needs some solid reinforcement).

things i did recently.... things i need to do.

2008-02-12T06:33:36Z

what i did this week/weekend:
Party at avalon. no offense to them, but ours are better(bias?) one particular cute girl was present.
Painted a sweet-ass table. come see it. no really. you can't believe how much work was put into this.
Got high and ordered a sebadoh album from amazon. it better be here soon.
random pondering and philosophizing about the way things are. I heart huckabees inspired shallow philosophical thought.
Black snake moan tonight. It was better this time around. Samuel L. Jackson is supreme.
pared down my playlist to get rid of shit that has been there since middle school/early high school. good riddance.
finished apps for summer internships.

things I need to do:

order a new case fan for my computer.
Write a cover letter so i can apply to dow (ewwww)
catch up on homework
plan my weekend. what the hell should i do for my birthday? options are: stay here and party/go to midland and party;see my mom/not do anything remotely interesting. lets hope for option 1 or 2.
order a pie from bake n' cakes.
write. i'm actually inspired.
find speakers that i like for my computer.
make an appointment to get my hair cut.
new shirts.

maybe there's more.... do i care?

robot hornets and tree people.

2008-02-06T20:29:00Z

things on my mind today:

1.Reading Cracked's list of the 5 most horrifying bugs I discovered this guy here:

the japanese giant hornet. first of all, look at the size of this cocksucker. then notice how perfectly formed his yellow armor is,and how much he looks like he wants to eat your soul. he drops acid from his huge mandibles, too? shit.

I see a voltron-type anime with these hornets instead of lions. The design is practically already there.

2. I was in Genetics class today, thinking about how mitochondrion have been shown to be inherited from other species, and weren't actually an original human organelle. so, how did we create energy without these power plants in all our cells?

Chlorophyll people. Same processes as a plant, but with consciousness and mammal ability. Green skin, leaves as hair, etc. now, I'm not sure photosynthesis alone would create enough energy for a chlorophyll person to go about their daily activities. so, they eat a lot of simple sugars too.
Weird? yes.
Awesome? very.

The original tree people.

and all your thoughts, yeah, they rot.

Ah, the joys of smoking.

2007-12-29T01:49:05Z

Why do we smoke?

I know that I identified with about everything in this article, even though i may not have thought about it.

It's very true how a brand of cigarettes and how someone smokes is a unique identifier of a personality and mood. You get curious when someone switches off their known brand in favor of something someone else smokes.

I didn't fully agree with the author's statement that different brands just need getting used to.
In reality, cigarettes taste different. You can get used to terrible cigarettes, but one with a better taste will be something you strive for.

There's quite a lot to be said for oral fixations as part of smoking as well. It would be interesting to see how many people who Freud would consider to have an oral fixation smoked/found deep relaxation of it.

here it is.

2007-11-14T14:10:01Z

Erik's soundtrack of '07. In something that I thought was an order but is definitely not. If i'm bored enough later i'll explain the significance of this to you-- these are basically the songs that DEFINED this year for me.

Radiohead - Cuttooth
The New Pornographers - all the things that go to make heaven and earth
Grateful Dead - Hell in a Bucket
Peter Bjorn and John - Up against the Wall
The Nightwatchman - The Dark Clouds Above
Broken Social Scene - Fire Eye'd Boy
Coheed and Cambria - Blood Red Summer
Long Beach Dub All-Stars - Sensi
311 - Offbeat Bare-ass
Spoon - the way we get by
Matisyahu - King Without a Crown
311- What was I thinking
Spoon - Rhythm and Soul
Justice - D.A.N.C.E.
311 - Outside
Radiohead - Bodysnatchers
Reel Big Fish - Beer
Sublime - Hong Kong Phooey
Modest Mouse - Breakthrough
Radiohead - Nude
Sublime - Trenchtown Rock
Sublime - Get Out!
Modest Mouse - Other people's Lives
Sebadoh - S. Soup
Rage Against the Machine - Bombtrack
Coheed and Cambria - In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth: 3
Between the Buried and Me - Prequel to the Sequel

You guys know me well enough. Let me know if I forgot anything important.

slightly angry

2007-11-13T02:50:17Z

This link goes to an article in the "GW Hatchet" about marijuana smokers.

The reason it makes me angry -
it presents an extreme case of pothead. First of all, not many people turn into extreme cases. I sure as hell don't want to affiliate myself with someone who goes through an eighth of an ounce a day. get a life. Maybe some aspirations.

There seems to be no point to the article. The author provides no guidelines or context in which to understand the story that's being presented. just random quotes and bunched ideas. what the hell am i supposed to do with this information?

The second person interviewed seems to be a normal person who smokes pot but still claims to be "psychologically addicted" and his "mood depends on it". Then later he goes on to say how it's a good thing and helps people be social. So which is it, boy? Do you really consider marijuana a bad thing if "The most powerful medication I was on made me feel completely emotionless. Pot is very much a social thing. I think smoking and being with people and talking with people helped me more." I'm willing to bet an addiction to anti-depressants or sleeping pills you probably wouldnt consider an addiction - this "medication" you speak of is often MUCH more harmful than any THC-containing substance.

The author is trying so hard to be unbiased. But they suggest that everything that happens in these people's lives is DUE to the marijuana.... and don't address the fact that they smoke marijuana a certain way BECAUSE of their innate abilities and temperament. here's a quote about the girl discussed in the article:
'"I would self-medicate with pot," she said. "I didn't want to deal with emotions and everything in high school. If I don't smoke, I kind of get into a bad mood. It's easier to deal with things when you're high. I don't like the feeling of not being high anymore."'
HMMM. sounds like some sort of depression to me. This girl's problems are NOT her marijuana. the fact that marijuana may be "psychologically addictive" CANNOT attribute to the fact that she had to "limit herself to spending $100 a week" on pot.

Just because marijuana appeals to a lot of people doesnt mean it affects everyone the same. You can abuse the substance just as much as anything else. Just because its not detrimental to your health doesn't mean it can't hurt you. Or prevent progress.
As often as we're shown the EXTREME MAJOR POTHEADS in the media, there are twice as many INFORMED INTELLIGENT POTSMOKERS out there getting angry at the idiots who ruin the image for the rest of us.

then again, it's hard to comment on this article because once again there's no central point to it. why the hell do i care what these people think about marijuana? provide me with some statistics other than "50% of college students have smoked" - who cares? tell me how many "potheads" completed college successfully and went on to a career? how many let it control their lives and go on to harder more dangerous drugs?
Get this negative image of marijuana out of culture. It does more harm than good- it needs to be addressed, but maybe now the main purpose should be EDUCATION of the masses about this plant and it's effects.

things on my mind

2007-11-12T08:04:07Z

1) I really want a huge piece of meat right now. Some fucking huge burger or something.

2) i am so glad that we have rootbeer in the vending machine now. that'll go awesome with burgers.

3) I need to write a "music of '07" playlist. I think I can make a pretty comprehensive sweet list. from 311 to coheed to modest mouse and beyond.

4) I am so sick of being tired. ALWAYS.

5) I need to get some sick pay this week. My savings account is slowly growing.

6) anyone know of any good new music? prizefighter inferno is on my list of to-download.

7)Jake was right. M-X is better than steel reserve.

8)man, those burgers are going to be so good.

update: I got some A&W. Man, that burger was so fucking good.
and cheese curds? don't even get me started.

brainsnap @ 2007-10-12T14:46:00

2007-10-12T18:47:40Z

I am slowly constructing my own theories about cognition. A lot of thought and observation has gone into all this stuff going on in my head. I think it's making sense to me now.

I should get this out on paper....

brainsnap @ 2007-10-08T01:17:00

2007-10-08T05:23:26Z

A few people lately have been rejuvenating my appreciation for life quite a bit. Rehashing old friendships, making new ones, etc. I've met quite a few dickwads lately too, but I think I can finally appreciate that I can handle being around dickwads for a while and not give a shit about them later. I figure I'm always going to be surrounded by them, so I might as well learn to put up with them.

I am at a point in my life where I am in control and I really enjoy it. This year is so much different than last year. East lansing didn't seem like the place i live. It seemed like where I went to school. Having a car and a real job just changed the perspective completely. Add in the fact that i'm not afraid and anti-social like last year, and I have friends to hang out with. I'm at school, and I still like it. I'm a little more lax about it, which isn't good, but I'm completely capable of sculpting my own future.

there's been a lot of sadness around me lately, but I'm still happy. I like who I am and the direction i'm going. I know that no matter what I end up doing I'm going to do something I like and I'm going to be able to improve the world (with whatever small contribution i can make).

I think what makes me the happiest of all is that some people, no matter what changes you and they're going through, are still going to be there and be the same beautiful people and not judge you for being an occasional dumbass. I'm so lucky to have a relationship that's so secure and without boundary - and I've had it for so long i've taken it for granted.

It's not always going to be possible for every dream to come true, but amidst all the lost dreams, imagine all the ones that you'll catch. Keep dreaming;keep hoping;keep living.

brainsnap @ 2007-09-17T13:14:00

2007-09-17T17:22:10Z

today i:

-woke up to my alarm for the first time this year. Every previous time i'd wake up literally one minute beforehand.
-Almost killed myself when my bike lock went into my spokes. I stopped right before i would have flipped. This messed up my front brakes.
- Almost died again when I went in front of a car who was being too hesitant. He hit me on the side, i stayed on my bike and kept going. I am basically superman.
- Felt like shit immediately upon reaching my house. I feel sort of nauseous.
- lamented internally about the lack of women in my life, and the girl I didn't talk to yesterday.

+ downloaded the microphones' album (the glow pt. 2). I can't deny my love of indie music.
+ will take an excellent nap after my research seminar.
+ am hopefully receiving some money to hold me over until my paycheck. (and possibly pay for coheed tickets)
+ want some ice cream. and a motherfuckin' burger. it's been three weeks since i've had a burger. You don't know the MEANING of the word burgin' until you've been through A&W withdrawal.
+ want some root beer now. damn you, A&W!
+ am excited that my beautiful friends (jo, jordan, and especially tim, what a babe) came to visit me.
+ am also excited that i don't work on weekends anymore, and will be able to commute to midland on occasion, as well as have friends over without making them stay here while i'm at work.
+ think i am going to play some zelda on the wii. watching kirk play made me really excited about it.

brainsnap @ 2007-09-14T23:23:00

2007-09-15T03:36:14Z

holy shit
i am in a terrible mood.
If you asked me why, I could probably pinpoint a few factors:

1)my friends ditch me.
2)I fucking hate cold weather
3)I can't handle my own money and I refuse to ask my parents. They've done too much for me already.
4)My best friends live in a radius from 100 miles to all the way across the goddamn country.
5)Girls piss me off. I refuse to elaborate.
6)I have to work at 9 am.
7) Not smoking cigarettes contributes greatly to my stress. Not smoking pot contributes more.

Reasons why the future will be better:

1) Tim/Jo/Jordan are coming to visit, and hopefully bring me some sanity with it.
2) I'm pretty sure I get my first paycheck this week
3) I had a fucking great night with AO/Nate/Nick/Pat last night. Hopefully there is more to come.
4) Every time I go to bed feeling disgusting, I usually wake up and see things differently.
5) Brad gets his license back in about a week, and he'll be able to come smoke with me.
6) I saw Natalie today for the first time since school ended. She is awesome.
7) The thought that I'm going to go to Florida in March with brad and see Jenn gives me will to live.

FUCKKKKKKK

brainsnap @ 2007-09-08T04:22:00

2007-09-08T08:29:56Z

"i don't even know,man"

Confusing and interesting times. Watched almost famous, got caught up in the moment. Had a mojito with rachel and natalie, watched "drop dead fred" and loled.

I'm reminded of an article I read about alcohol being the original muse. Of lost souls getting drunk and spitting out their metaphorical souls out in writing. I can see where it comes from. While my mind is so loose and free to spit out whatever is coming, I understand. I may not be able to understand to the fullest all of the pain and the beauty of life, I'm trying really damn hard.

I love this house. everyone is easy to get along with and willing to give a fuck about me. I don't really have many friends in this town but I feel so welcome among these people and this culture. I don't feel the same way I did last year, which helps things tremendously.

The thing that's mattered the most to me: I realized a couple days ago that I haven't been really depressed in a long time. I can deal with my life for the first time since I can remember. So many things have gone into my self-acceptance.
mostly the fact that i've learned to say "fuck the bullshit" and get on with my life, which is truly great. I know who I am and where I'm going. I've made friends that I know will be there when I need them and will show me a damn good time no matter what state of consciousness I'm in.

I can feel the music, the soul, the creativity in me. Begging to get out and prove to the world that i'm not just some damn kid from michigan. That I have ideas and motivation and promise for a better future for myself and for my descendents.

If I don't change the world, then I'm a failure. I just need to find out in what capacity this white middle-classed kid can change the world.

brainsnap @ 2007-08-23T18:31:00

2007-08-23T22:38:48Z

tomorrow will be spent packing and smoking.

It's been an interesting, experience, this summer. It ultimately turned out to be basically a compilation of many adventures with many of my good friends. I've been to the beach, I've been to the UP, and i've been to the other side of the galaxy (i've been a star, too.)

It's strange how quickly I became used to life in midland working, then I get it taken away just as quickly. I was given a place within the infrastructure that is jimmyjohn's, made quite a few good friends and made some money.

I got a new car, my black VW passat(which i named susie) which i love. It's already taken me all over the state. I found two of my dream cars (a blue Subaru impreza wrx sti, and a nissan(datsun) 280zx). I've grown in my goals and my own self-worth. I have more confidence and i'm not as shy. I realize that the middle class life that i've always looked for may not be the path for me, and I should really follow my dreams if I want to be happy. I'll still work my ass off to be an intelligent and respected person, no matter what path I choose.

Basically, I don't have any luck in love, but I'm not worried about it because it allows me to fully be myself. When the right girl comes along, I'll know.

Every bit of pain I've been through I never regret- even if it was my fault. I can finally learn from everything. I'm completely aware that I'm never going to fully understand the scope of the human mind (or even my own) but I can get insights into the ways things work, and with a little more intelligence I'll be able to forge my own theories about thinking and dreaming and living and loving.

A toast (no liquor, please) to life, to being, to getting through all the bullshit.

brainsnap @ 2007-07-23T09:47:00

2007-07-23T13:55:40Z

So guys, I'd like to let you in on a little secret.

A&W is the new mecca. There's no way to explain this phenomenon. Brad,Gabe,David and I started craving A&W for reasons unknown on our way back to ann arbor. Luckily, there was one in fenton. We devoured burgers/hot dogs/fries, and we got root beer. The root beer is a key part of the equation.
Leaving the restaurant, we felt terrible and fantastic. Our bellies filled with too much root beer and mediocre food, Gas was building. The car ride was horrendous.
And then the burps start coming. There's nothing more relieving than burping out three mugs worth of root beer. You feel fantastic for the rest of the day.

Yesterday, the same thing occurred. Having woken up to Travis slamming a footrest shut at 9:30 am, I announced to everyone that I was burgin'. The A&W incident mentioned previously was discussed. And the craving came back.
Following this, Tim, Gabe, Brad and I sat around for another hour as we had no motivation to move. When we finally got ready to go, we had to leave our stuff back at the house because our mecca was calling us. It was only about a 10 minute drive, but we were all burgin' so hard that we couldn't handle it. There were quite a few freakouts on the way. As the A&W in Coleman came into view, we all cheered. My double bacon cheeseburger and cheese curds definitely helped me overcome my burgin' problem. Two gigantic mugs of root beer made me feel terrible and fantastic.
Keep in mind, this was after a night of drinking profusely. We all felt like shit and Ultimately needed to crap our pants. Therefore, most of the meal was spent talking about how good of shits we were about to have. Finishing my meal, I went and took that shit. I came back to the table and drank another root beer. I had the satisfaction of both the A&W cure AND the relief of taking a grandiose poop. Everyone felt fantastic afterwards.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, the only religion i'm part of is that of A&W. If you'd like to come worship with me, we'll make a quick trip over to coleman and pray to our rootbeers. Once you've experienced A&W salvation, you'll never be the same.

brainsnap @ 2007-07-17T03:09:00

2007-07-17T07:08:27Z

from: http://www.abovetheignorance.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=27

Myth: Marijuana's Harms Have Been Proved Scientifically. In the 1960s and 1970s, many people believed that marijuana was harmless. Today we know that marijuana is much more dangerous than previously believed.

Fact: In 1972, after reviewing the scientific evidence, the National Commission on Marihuana and Drug Abuse concluded that while marijuana was not entirely safe, its dangers had been grossly overstated. Since then, researchers have conducted thousands of studies of humans, animals, and cell cultures. None reveal any findings dramatically different from those described by the National Commission in 1972. In 1995, based on thirty years of scientific research editors of the British medical journal Lancet concluded that "the smoking of cannabis, even long term, is not harmful to health."

Myth: Marijuana Has No Medicinal Value. Safer, more effective drugs are available. They include a synthetic version of THC, marijuana's primary active ingredient, which is marketed in the United States under the name Marinol.

Fact: Marijuana has been shown to be effective in reducing the nausea induced by cancer chemotherapy, stimulating appetite in AIDS patients, and reducing intraocular pressure in people with glaucoma. There is also appreciable evidence that marijuana reduces muscle spasticity in patients with neurological disorders. A synthetic capsule is available by prescription, but it is not as effective as smoked marijuana for many patients. Pure THC may also produce more unpleasant psychoactive side effects than smoked marijuana. Many people use marijuana as a medicine today, despite its illegality. In doing so, they risk arrest and imprisonment.

Myth: Marijuana is Highly Addictive. Long term marijuana users experience physical dependence and withdrawal, and often need professional drug treatment to break their marijuana habits.

Fact: Most people who smoke marijuana smoke it only occasionally. A small minority of Americans - less than 1 percent - smoke marijuana on a daily basis. An even smaller minority develop a dependence on marijuana. Some people who smoke marijuana heavily and frequently stop without difficulty. Others seek help from drug treatment professionals. Marijuana does not cause physical dependence. If people experience withdrawal symptoms at all, they are remarkably mild.

Myth: Marijuana is a Gateway Drug. Even if marijuana itself causes minimal harm, it is a dangerous substance because it leads to the use of "harder drugs" like heroin, LSD, and cocaine.

Fact: Marijuana does not cause people to use hard drugs. What the gateway theory presents as a causal explanation is a statistic association between common and uncommon drugs, an association that changes over time as different drugs increase and decrease in prevalence. Marijuana is the most popular illegal drug in the United States today. Therefore, people who have used less popular drugs such as heroin, cocaine, and LSD, are likely to have also used marijuana. Most marijuana users never use any other illegal drug. Indeed, for the large majority of people, marijuana is a terminus rather than a gateway drug.

Myth: Marijuana Offenses Are Not Severely Punished. Few marijuana law violators are arrested and hardly anyone goes to prison. This lenient treatment is responsible for marijuana continued availability and use.

Fact: Marijuana arrests in the United States doubled between 1991 and 1995. In 1995, more than one-half-million people were arrested for marijuana offenses. Eighty-six percent of them were arrested for marijuana possession. Tens of thousands of people are now in prison or marijuana offenses. An even greater number are punished with probation, fines, and civil sanctions, including having their property seized, their driver's license revoked, and their employment terminated. Despite these civil and criminal sanctions, marijuana continues to be readily available and widely used.

Myth: Marijuana Policy in the Netherlands is a Failure. Dutch law, which allows marijuana to be bought, sold, and used openly, has resulted in increasing rates of marijuana use, particularly in youth.

Fact: The Netherlands' drug policy is the most nonpunitive in Europe. For more than twenty years, Dutch citizens over age eighteen have been permitted to buy and use cannabis (marijuana and hashish) in government-regulated coffee shops. This policy has not resulted in dramatically escalating cannabis use. For most age groups, rates of marijuana use in the Netherlands are similar to those in the United States. However, for young adolescents, rates of marijuana use are lower in the Netherlands than in the United States. The Dutch people overwhelmingly approve of current cannabis policy which seeks to normalize rather than dramatize cannabis use. The Dutch government occasionally revises existing policy, but it remains committed to decriminalization.

Myth: Marijuana Kills Brain Cells. Used over time, marijuana permanently alters brain structure and function, causing memory loss, cognitive impairment, personality deterioration, and reduced productivity.

Fact: None of the medical tests currently used to detect brain damage in humans have found harm from marijuana, even from long term high-dose use. An early study reported brain damage in rhesus monkeys after six months exposure to high concentrations of marijuana smoke. In a recent, more carefully conducted study, researchers found no evidence of brain abnormality in monkeys that were forced to inhale the equivalent of four to five marijuana cigarettes every day for a year. The claim that marijuana kills brain cells is based on a speculative report dating back a quarter of a century that has never been supported by any scientific study.

Myth: Marijuana Causes an Amotivational Syndrome. Marijuana makes users passive, apathetic, and uninterested in the future. Students who use marijuana become underachievers and workers who use marijuana become unproductive.

Fact: For twenty-five years, researchers have searched for a marijuana-induced amotivational syndrome and have failed to find it. People who are intoxicated constantly, regardless of the drug, are unlikely to be productive members of society. There is nothing about marijuana specifically that causes people to lose their drive and ambition. In laboratory studies, subjects given high doses of marijuana for several days or even several weeks exhibit no decrease in work motivation or productivity. Among working adults, marijuana users tend to earn higher wages than non-users. College students who use marijuana have the same grades as nonusers. Among high school students, heavy use is associated with school failure, but school failure usually comes first.

Myth: Marijuana Impairs Memory and Cognition. Under the influence of marijuana, people are unable to think rationally and intelligently. Chronic marijuana use causes permanent mental impairment.

Fact: Marijuana produces immediate, temporary changes in thoughts, perceptions, and information processing. The cognitive process most clearly affected by marijuana is short-term memory. In laboratory studies, subjects under the influence of marijuana have no trouble remembering things they learned previously. However, they display diminished capacity to learn and recall new information. This diminishment only lasts for the duration of the intoxication. There is no convincing evidence that heavy long-term marijuana use permanently impairs memory or other cognitive functions.

Myth: Marijuana Can Cause Permanent Mental Illness. Among adolescents, even occasional marijuana use may cause psychological damage. During intoxication, marijuana users become irrational and often behave erratically.

Fact: There is no convincing scientific evidence that marijuana causes psychological damage or mental illness in either teenagers or adults. Some marijuana users experience psychological distress following marijuana ingestion, which may include feelings of panic, anxiety, and paranoia. Such experiences can be frightening, but the effects are temporary. With very large doses, marijuana can cause temporary toxic psychosis. This occurs rarely, and almost always when marijuana is eaten rather than smoked. Marijuana does not cause profound changes in people's behavior.

Myth: Marijuana Causes Crime. Marijuana users commit more property offenses than nonusers. Under the influence of marijuana, people become irrational, aggressive, and violent.

Fact: Every serious scholar and government commission examining the relationship between marijuana use and crime has reached the same conclusion: marijuana does not cause crime. The vast majority of marijuana users do not commit crimes other than the crime of possessing marijuana. Among marijuana users who do commit crimes, marijuana plays no causal role. Almost all human and animal studies show that marijuana decreases rather than increases aggression.

Myth: Marijuana Interferes With Male and Female Sex Hormones. In both men and women, marijuana can cause infertility. Marijuana retards sexual development in adolescents. It produces feminine characteristics in males and masculine characteristics in females.

Fact: There is no evidence that marijuana causes infertility in men or women. In animal studies, high doses of THC diminish the production of some sex hormones and can impair reproduction. However, most studies of humans have found that marijuana has no impact of sex hormones. In those studies showing an impact, it is modest, temporary, and of no apparent consequence for reproduction. There is no scientific evidence that marijuana delays adolescent sexual development, has feminizing effect on males, or a masculinizing effect on females.

Myth: Marijuana Use During Pregnancy Damages the Fetus. Prenatal marijuana exposure causes birth defects in babies, and, as they grow older, developmental problems. The health and well being of the next generation is threatened by marijuana use by pregnant women.

Fact: Studies of newborns, infants, and children show no consistent physical, developmental, or cognitive deficits related to prenatal marijuana exposure. Marijuana had no reliable impact on birth size, length of gestation, neurological development, or the occurrence of physical abnormalities. The administration of hundreds of tests to older children has revealed only minor differences between offspring of marijuana users and nonusers, and some are positive rather than negative. Two unconfirmed case-control studies identified prenatal marijuana exposure as one of many factors statistically associated with childhood cancer. Given other available evidence, it is highly unlikely that marijuana causes cancer in children.

Myth: Marijuana Use Impairs the Immune System. Marijuana users are at increased risk of infection, including HIV. AIDS patients are particularly vulnerable to marijuana's immunopathic effects because their immune systems are already suppressed.

Fact: There is no evidence that marijuana users are more susceptible to infections than nonusers. Nor is there evidence that marijuana lowers users' resistance to sexually transmitted diseases. Early studies which showed decreased immune function in cells taken from marijuana users have since been disproved. Animals given extremely large doses of THC and exposed to a virus have higher rates of infection. Such studies have little relevance to humans. Even among people with existing immune disorders, such as AIDS, marijuana use appears to be relatively safe. However, the recent finding of an association between tobacco smoking and lung infection in AIDS patients warrants further research into possible harm from marijuana smoking in immune suppressed persons.

Myth: Marijuana is More Damaging to the Lungs Than Tobacco. Marijuana smokers are at a high risk of developing lung cancer, bronchitis, and emphysema.

Fact: Moderate smoking of marijuana appears to pose minimal danger to the lungs. Like tobacco smoke, marijuana smoke contains a number of irritants and carcinogens. But marijuana users typically smoke much less often than tobacco smokers, and over time, inhale much less smoke. As a result, the risk of serious lung damage should be lower in marijuana smokers. There have been no reports of lung cancer related solely to marijuana, and in a large study presented to the American Thoracic Society in 2006, even heavy users of smoked marijuana were found not to have any increased risk of lung cancer. Unlike heavy tobacco smokers, heavy marijuana smokers exhibit no obstruction of the lung's small airway. That indicates that people will not develop emphysema from smoking marijuana.

Myth: Marijuana's Active Ingredient, THC, Gets Trapped in Body Fat. Because THC is released from fat cells slowly, psychoactive effects may last for days or weeks following use. THC's long persistence in the body damages organs that are high in fat content, the brain in particular.

Fact: Many active drugs enter the body's fat cells. What is different (but not unique) about THC is that it exits fat cells slowly. As a result, traces of marijuana can be found in the body for days or weeks following ingestion. However, within a few hours of smoking marijuana, the amount of THC in the brain falls below the concentration required for detectable psychoactivity. The fat cells in which THC lingers are not harmed by the drug's presence, nor is the brain or other organs. The most important consequence of marijuana's slow excretion is that it can be detected in blood, urine, and tissue long after it is used, and long after its psychoactivity has ended.

Myth: Marijuana Use is a Major Cause Of Highway Accidents. Like alcohol, marijuana impairs psychomotor function and decreases driving ability. If marijuana use increases, an increase in of traffic fatalities is inevitable.

Fact: There is no compelling evidence that marijuana contributes substantially to traffic accidents and fatalities. At some doses, marijuana affects perception and psychomotor performances- changes which could impair driving ability. However, in driving studies, marijuana produces little or no car-handling impairment- consistently less than produced by low moderate doses of alcohol and many legal medications. In contrast to alcohol, which tends to increase risky driving practices, marijuana tends to make subjects more cautious. Surveys of fatally injured drivers show that when THC is detected in the blood, alcohol is almost always detected as well. For some individuals, marijuana may play a role in bad driving. The overall rate of highway accidents appears not to be significantly affected by marijuana's widespread use in society.

Myth: Marijuana Related Hospital Emergencies Are Increasing, Particularly Among Youth. This is evidence that marijuana is much more harmful than most people previously believed.

Fact: Marijuana does not cause overdose deaths. The number of people in hospital emergency rooms who say they have used marijuana has increased. On this basis, the visit may be recorded as marijuana-related even if marijuana had nothing to do with the medical condition preceding the hospital visit. Many more teenagers use marijuana than use drugs such as heroin and cocaine. As a result, when teenagers visit hospital emergency rooms, they report marijuana much more frequently than they report heroin and cocaine. In the large majority of cases when marijuana is mentioned, other drugs are mentioned as well. In 1994, fewer than 2% of drug related emergency room visits involved the use of marijuana.

Myth: Marijuana Is More Potent Today Than In The Past. Adults who used marijuana in the 1960s and 1970s fail to realize that when today's youth use marijuana they are using a much more dangerous drug.

Fact: When today's youth use marijuana, they are using the same drug used by youth in the 1960s and 1970s. A small number of low-THC sample sized by the Drug Enforcement Administration are used to calculate a dramatic increase in potency. However, these samples were not representative of the marijuana generally available to users during this era. Potency data from the early 1980s to the present are more reliable, and they show no increase in the average THC content of marijuana. Even if marijuana potency were to increase, it would not necessarily make the drug more dangerous. Marijuana that varies quite substantially in potency produces similar psychoactive effects.

Myth: Marijuana Use Can Be Prevented. Drug education and prevention programs reduced marijuana use during the 1980s. Since then, our commitment has slackened, and marijuana use has been rising. By expanding and intensifying current anti-marijuana messages, we can stop youthful experimentation.

Fact: There is no evidence that anti-drug messages diminish young people's interest in drugs. Anti-drug campaigns in the schools and the media may even make drugs more attractive. Marijuana use among youth declined throughout the 1980s, and began increasing in the 1990s. This increase occurred despite young people's exposure to the most massive anti-marijuana campaign in American history. In a number of other countries, drug education programs are based on a "harm reduction" model, which seeks to reduce the drug-related harm among those young people who do experiment with drugs.

Highlights from the book Marijuana Myths, Marijuana Facts: A Review of the Scientific Evidence. By Drs. Lynn Zimmer and John Morgan. New York: The Lindesmith Center, 1997.

brainsnap @ 2007-07-16T23:22:00

2007-07-17T03:29:24Z

coming back is the ever-apparent fear that there is something innately wrong with me.
It'll go away in due time. But going back to lansing is going to be a huge adjustment for me again. I don't want a repeat of last year's nervous breakdown.

Most of my friends are going to be here, still in midland. They mean so much to me and my existence that i'm going to feel like i'm in total solitude. I hope that elsworth will work out for me and i'll make friends with the people there (there's a much higher chance of that than the people in my dorm last year) and hopefully i can get a job to meet some new people.

I used to love to relax and have free time. I don't really anymore. If I don't keep moving everything slams into itself and I feel lost. I want to be working/learning/studying all the time during school. If i can, hang out with some people on weekends.
I'm so glad matt davis is coming to state this year. I went camping with him/Andrew/Dylan/Kevin to see Ian up by traverse city this past weekend. It was a great time, a lot of fun with some guys i've only recently gotten to know well.
On this trip, we:
1)drove ridiculous distances searching for a campground and back and forth between TC and Torch Lake.
2) hung out with a plethora of Scottish/Aussie counselors that Ian is friends with, and loved them.
3)Saw one of the world's largest testicles. I'm still awestruck.
4)saw entirely too much of dylan hicks' penis.
5) got crunk in a tent. Roasted some weenies.
6) Slept in a hotel room with 7 other people and neighbors that were apparently racist and on PCP. "This guy loves niggers, so what?"
7) Laid on the beach at torch lake and felt the power of the sun.

Good weekend. I hope that next weekend is just as good, as we will be at Harry's for brad's birthday.

I met tom morello last tuesday as well. That was quite exciting. If you haven't listened to the nightwatchman cd at all yet, download some. He's passionate and interesting and he knows so much about everything.

brainsnap @ 2007-07-07T18:24:00

2007-07-07T22:31:49Z

well,

Jenn came to visit. It was an interesting experience. she's a wonderful girl and it sucks to have someone come in and fit in so well with all of our friends and then have to leave. I picked her up/drove her back to the airport in flint.
She also came with me jo and tim to St. Ignace(ignorance) and Mackinaw city. It was a good time... Went to the mystery Spot, got free chipped mugs from a dude at the wax museum, missed out on party ponchos. The next day we proceeded to have tim's birthday party with a power hour (within which i did not puke) and other things. Then fireworks in bay city on the 3rd with jordan,julie,ian,jake,marie,jo,jenn. The fireworks were good, although I was definitely wigging out on the way back because it took so long.
Went again on the 4th with Andrew and Dylan, hung out with a bunch of people at andrew's house.

Yesterday I was awake for 32 hours, by the end I couldn't think straight and I passed out for 13 hours- I haven't slept that much in a loooooong time.

Got new heads and new bass strings at guitar center on wednesday with brad and colin. It was a good time, we played minigolf at kokomo's as well. Colin then came back to my garage with us, and jesse met up with us to tune our new heads since he is a drum genius. The band is back on its feet, we have a new song (after scrapping all our old material) and the team of MickPot+EMitch is actually great at songwriting. Turns out we're on the same page for most things. When everyone else is freaking out we're involved but we're also laughing our asses off.

thanks to brad,tim,jenn,jo,jordan, and julie for a great and interesting ten days, and here's a toast to the rest of the summer- I'm leaving in about a month. How crazy.
If I don't update again until I move into elsworth, then here's a 311 quote to inspire you -
"A day like today is for you
to let your mind unwind, like you ought to
feel the earth turn round when your heart rate slows
contemplating the thing only your heart knows
that life's not a race"

brainsnap @ 2007-06-21T02:43:00

2007-06-21T06:47:41Z

i just had the best talk i've had in what seems like years.
She's still my favorite person and I have a hunch that she will be for a very very long time (keeping my fingers crossed)
I am so glad we're still friends.

My head almost exploded when I was faced with the possibility of giving that up.
I think with every little breakdown a new truth is revealed to me.
About mortality. about love. about reality.

I'm stuck in this place, but I'm doing what I can. taking baby steps to improvement.
I hope everyone can see that.

brainsnap @ 2007-06-16T03:46:00

2007-06-16T07:51:06Z

not a lot to say.

work, sleep, eat, smoke, etc.

my brain has been in some kind of vice lately. I'm trapped in a mental prison, i feel like I'm stuck exactly where I am.
And there's still this gravitational pull towards some things that just makes me unhappy in the long run. Things that really need to go.
If i'm still this lost by august, I'll definitely be scheduling a visit to some sort of therapist.

I keep forgetting that everything changes so rapidly. And i'm kind of a multi-polar individual, so everything goes in cycles. yep. that's me, nice and cyclical.
I go from "fuck the world" to "fuck that, let's have fun" pretty quickly.

The only thing worth noting lately is the acquisition of some old modest mouse, boards of canada and caribou from my manager. I'm pretty excited, they're all spectacular.
Oh, and I went swimming a couple times. big thumbs up for pools.

death.